Letting go

I woke up early this morning. Yeah, there's certainly a lot going on in my head at the moment. Today is the very last morning that I'll wake up here at Ban Ruan Jai. It's the last time that I'll wake up to the nocturnal noises of the city. It's the last time to experience all of the wonderful attributes of this city.

I'm going to miss it all quite a bit but I think I'll especially miss some of the terrific people whom I've met over the course of the month. I'll miss everyone from school, both staff and peers. I'll miss my reliable Green Papaya Salad master. I'll miss my spunky kombucha brewer. I'll miss the guy who runs my guesthouse (and his adorable mother and father who always greet me with a language-shattering morning smile.) I'll miss my bicycle buddy. I'll miss the bell on my bicycle and how I ring it with the intentions of just saying "Bring-bring … good morning" rather than "Bring-bring … get the hell out of my way!" I'll miss my acupuncturist. I'll miss the wise and caring guy at the herb shop. I'll miss the random people on the street whom I recognize and see over and over again. I'll miss the incidental people whom I meet in the park who tell me that I look familiar before realizing that they've taken my Bikram class on the Upper East Side. (Small world example number one-thousand, three hundred and sixty-four.) I'll miss serendipity. I'll miss what's become of four weeks of research and exploration of this city. In such a short time, I've created quite a little network for myself. I was tempted to skip the beach altogether and to just stay here for my remaining two weeks in Thailand but I've been promised how much I'm going to love the beaches. So, off I go.

I wonder how similar things will be in the south. I wonder how prepared I'll feel based on my experiences up here. I wonder if my myriad travel-lessons will come in handy. In an earlier blog post (from February 6th … almost exactly one month ago,) I mentioned my train-mates and their attitude toward the four-hour delay in the train arrival into Chiang Mai. There's just an easy mentality, in this city, surrounding expectations and outcomes. It's a nice lesson in yoga. It's an easy life … an easy way of living.

There's a particular energy here in this city. Perhaps it's due to the fact that there are so many explorers. There are so many people, away from their respective homes, seeking new experiences. There's a certain mentality here. I see it in NYC among the tourists … the people who are on vacation. You know that mentality: the people in Times Square who are pointing and gauging, completely oblivious to the agitated New Yorkers who are aggressively trying to get to where they need to go. That same lightness is present here among everyone: both travelers and locals, alike. The natives don't necessarily have a lot here but they're happy. They're happy to wake up early and work hard for seemingly very little monetary reward. Though their lives are filled with obstacles and hurdles, they make it all look quite easy. They make it work. They don't let things eat away at them. Perhaps it's because this city is packed with so much inherent spirituality. People seem genuinely happy. This trip must be doing something for me because one friend thinks I'm "relaxed" and the "travel-type." She was surprised to hear that it's my first trip and that I have truly no previous travel experience. Another friend was convinced that I was lying about being from New York. She saw some sort of easy-going spirit which she swore had come from the opposite coast of the United States. She said "You've got to be from California." I've been riding my bike a little bit slower. I've been surviving without the use of a cell phone. I've been taking things as they come. It feels nice. I suppose the trick is to either make travel accessible (so that we can experience things like this more often in life,) or to make the benefits last upon returning home … to incorporate some of this fantasy life into our real lives.

So, I'm leaving all that I've created and all that I've discovered. But that's OK. It was three weeks ago, that I was sitting at dinner with a peer who mentioned how nice it was to reach an age where one has finally unearthed the ability to be alone ... without being bored. Obviously, I'm sharing this with all of you and clearly, you're all in my thoughts often. But I'm alone; I'm on my own. So I must leave this city and move on to Phase II of my trip: VACATION!!

Flight info: Thai Airways #129 (CNX) Chiang Mai ➤ (HKT) Phuket Monday, March 5th: 1:40 PM - 3:35PM. And now, back to packing. I'm already five kilos over my permitted baggage allowance so I've got to figure out how to bring some of that light mentality home with me … but without contributing to the weight of my luggage.